Gratitude & Memories

Over the past couple weeks I have spent many quiet nighttime hours awake feeding Tyler and coaxing him back to sleep. This has given me a lot of time to think. Quite a few of these hours my thoughts turn to my dad. I often think that losing my dad just plain stinks! It isn't fair. Why did I have to lose my dad? Accidents like his happen to other people, they don't happen to us. I still need him. I may be 30, but it doesn't make my reliance on his opinions and advice any less. He was way too young to go. We had plans for the future...and now everything, really everything is different.

Then yesterday I attended the general relief society broadcast. Being able to hear the words of the general authorities is a tremendous blessing. It is when I am in an environment such as this that I can feel the spirit and feel closer to my Heavenly Father than in most other places. The speakers weren't talking about this specifically, but I got the impression that I shouldn't dwell on what I have lost, but rather the blessing and opportunity that I have had to know such a man as my dad and have him as my dad for all these years. I have years and years of wonderful memories. I got to have a dad that loved me more than just about anything and still does. How blessed I am to have all of this and although he is not here with us now, his influence will continue throughout my life.

Dad - thank you for everything! I miss you!